


I Can Do It Now

by ChampHeartBooks



Category: Given (Anime)
Genre: Closure, M/M, Original Song, Singing, moving forward, saying goodbye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29583195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChampHeartBooks/pseuds/ChampHeartBooks
Summary: After the show, Mafuyu visits Yuki's grave. Through music he is at last able to express himself, to face Yuki, and begin to move forward.(Set between episodes 9 and 10. Assumes that either Mafuyu hasn't visited Yuki's grave before, or if he did it was a there physically but not mentally situation.)
Relationships: Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka, Satou Mafuyu/Yoshida Yuuki (past)
Kudos: 17





	I Can Do It Now

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished watching Given a couple days ago and then Brandon McInnis released an EP of english covers and an original song for Mafuyu and I have been obsessed and drowning in feels ever since. I love Given so much! It is so powerful and beautiful! I knew I needed to write something for it.
> 
> I actually bolted out of bed this morning because this song and then the scene around it came to me so suddenly and vividly that nothing else mattered except writing it down. The idea behind this scene is that Mafuyu got sick in part because he was out extra late because he went to visit Yuki's grave after the show instead of just going home. Through music he was finally able to face Yuki and his own fears and insecurities from what had happened. <3

It was late, but that didn’t matter. There was only one place that Mafuyu could go. The one place he should have visited long ago but that he could never get his feet or mind to go to.

The cemetery was empty, as would be expected that time of night. Mafuyu found the Yoshida family grave and sat down. He hugged his guitar case silently for a moment then took a deep breath.

“Hi Yuki. It’s… It’s been a long time. I… I miss you. Sorry I didn’t come visit you sooner but… well, I didn’t know how… You know I’ve never been good at expressing myself and when you… I got even worse. I couldn’t say anything, even to myself. My voice was gone again. But someone has been helping me. I can say what’s inside me now.”

Mafuyu took out the guitar and checked its tuning. Then he began to play and sing.

_You were my winter_

_You were my sun_

_But winter’s time was then and now it’s done_

_I didn’t want to leave you_

_I didn’t want to see you go_

_But my words got out of control_

_And my greatest fear became so_

_I shattered that day_

_A broken string without a voice_

_I fell into silent darkness_

_I didn’t think I had any other choice_

_You were my winter_

_You were my sun_

_But winter’s time was then and now it’s done_

_I’m not in silent darkness anymore_

_The string has been fixed and taught to sing_

_I still miss you and my heart does still sting_

_But summer has come and set me free_

_In summer’s light my darkness began to melt_

_In summer’s touch my feelings began to be felt_

_In summer’s voice I found the path to my own_

_In summer’s eyes I knew I was no longer alone_

_You were my winter_

_You were my sun_

_But winter’s time was then and now it’s done_

_Please forgive me for all I said_

_Please forgive me for all I failed to say_

_I wish with you I could forever stay_

_But winter has long faded away_

_Summer is here now, warm in my arms_

_My life is returning despite all the harms_

_I will never forget you_

_You will always be my first love_

_But I can’t stay in the darkness forever_

_I must sing in a new sun_

_You were my winter_

_You were my sun_

_But winter’s time was then and now it’s done_

  
  


There was a long pause of silence before Mafuyu found his shaking voice. “What do you think, Yuki? Did I do ok? I… I miss you so much.” Tears were now running freely down his face. “I loved you so much I didn’t think I could ever live without you. But I love Ritsuka too. He helped me when I was in a silent shell. He taught me how to play guitar. He believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. He taught me that I can express myself. I love him. I love being around him. I love making music with him. I love how he makes me feel like I’m not alone. I… I love him so much, like how I love you.”

Mafuyu paused to calm his crying and catch his breath before continuing. “I never wanted to leave you, Yuki. I wanted to be with you forever. But I think it is time for me to move forward. I will always love and remember you, Yuki, but I have someone else to love now. I think he will accept me, he kissed me earlier, though that might have just been from the energy of the show. I’ll ask him soon. I’m not going to hide my feelings anymore. I’m going to be honest and straightforward. Thank you for everything. Yuki. You will always be my winter love.”

Mafuyu then put his guitar away and headed home. Although it was dark out, he felt full of gentle, warm light. His memories of Yuki were still with him but now he also had the hope of future memories with Ritsuka to look forward to. The guitar on his back was a comforting feeling. It was a physical reminder of his first love and his current love. Of the two people who had sought his voice in his silence and helped him live outside of a silent shell.


End file.
